dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
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You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
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Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.