I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
