Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?

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(618): do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like? http://tfl.nu/izmu

Replies (28) Good night (694) Bad night (1137)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

fuck the hobbit

(301): View more from Maryland

what about unicorns?

(732): View more from New Jersey

fuck those pointy horses

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(732): fuck the hobbit (301): what about unicorns? (732): fuck those pointy horses http://tfl.nu/k7om

Replies (9) Good night (2849) Bad night (906)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.

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(816): Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth. http://tfl.nu/la0a

Replies (9) Good night (3029) Bad night (660)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk

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(832): just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk http://tfl.nu/fd5v

Replies (8) Good night (3067) Bad night (688)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money

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(570): I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money http://tfl.nu/ayme

Replies (40) Good night (4319) Bad night (996)
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(804): View more from Virginia

This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public

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(804): This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public http://tfl.nu/6cpw

Replies (15) Good night (892) Bad night (3777)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?

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(978): so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call? http://tfl.nu/91ao

Replies (29) Good night (797) Bad night (7654)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

What?

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.

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(484): THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH. (610): What? (484): A TROUGH FOR VOMIT. http://tfl.nu/8z8s

Replies (17) Good night (3784) Bad night (3219)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.

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(717): Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something. http://tfl.nu/o9mn

Replies (11) Good night (3748) Bad night (1046)
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(530): View more from California

Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'

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(530): Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober' http://tfl.nu/1n5d

Replies (3) Good night (2920) Bad night (1095)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.

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(505): He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand. http://tfl.nu/5zt4

Replies (2) Good night (1044) Bad night (2023)
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(914): View more from New York

He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF

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(914): He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF http://tfl.nu/rz1g

Replies (19) Good night (4028) Bad night (1652)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.

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(+44): I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness. http://tfl.nu/lp3m

Replies (5) Good night (1434) Bad night (639)
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(434): View more from Virginia

Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know

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(434): Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know http://tfl.nu/qpk5

Replies (2) Good night (469) Bad night (953)
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(530): View more from California

I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage

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(530): I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage http://tfl.nu/j6kt

Replies (0) Good night (310) Bad night (115)

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