You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
