I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
