Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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