Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
