ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
