So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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