All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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