I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
