You can't motorboat a personality
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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