My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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