Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize