Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize