i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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