conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
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Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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