I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize