Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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