Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
