I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize