Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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