That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.