i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....