Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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