That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.