then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.