I'm going to jail i love you
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
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I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
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You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy