I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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