the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize