The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
no more duck duck goose at the bar
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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