Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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