he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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