I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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