I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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