I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
