My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
