so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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