I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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