His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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