did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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