I think my fart just growled at me.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
