well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
