i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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