it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize