i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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