He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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