And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
