if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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