Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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