You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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