he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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