I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I would ride that face into the sunset
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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