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• (571): View more from Virginia

  Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..

  (703): View more from Virginia

  this can't be going anywhere good

  (571): View more from Virginia

  nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\

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• (863): View more from Florida

  just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them

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• (406): View more from Montana

  One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...

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• (631): View more from New York

  its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone

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