you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
