How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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