i just google imaged poop.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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