i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
