I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
