I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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