The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
