If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She's the barista slut.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
