so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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